🥪”Spicy Sardine Toast – The 3-Ingredient Breakfast for Zombie Students”
📌 “You’re Not ‘Too Busy’ for Breakfast—You’re Just Lazy”
“Skipping breakfast to ‘save time’? Congrats, your 8am lecture performance now rivals a sloth’s. This 3-ingredient sardine toast takes 90 seconds, costs $1.50, and might actually wake you up.”
💰 Price Breakdown
| Ingredient | Cost | Student Life Hack |
|---|---|---|
| Canned sardines | $1.00 | Buy in bulk (10 cans for $5) |
| Bread | $0.10 | The stale end piece no one wants |
| Hot sauce | Free | Stolen from the campus dining hall |
| Total | $1.10 | (Cheaper than your 3rd coffee.) |
🔥 3 Upgrade Levels
- “Bare Minimum”: Sardines + bread.
- “I Meal Prep”: Add avocado (if your loan hits).
- “Michelin Star”: Sprinkle stolen dining hall chives.
🗑️ Cooking Fail Story
“I once used expired sardines ‘for the protein.’ My stomach staged a protest during finals week.”
❓ FAQ
Q: Can I use tuna instead?
A: Yes, but then it’s just sad tuna toast. Sardines have more ~personality~.
Q: How do I make it less fishy?
A: Drown it in hot sauce. Denial is a powerful tool.
Q: Is this actually healthy?
A: Compared to energy drinks? Absolutely.
- “Need another lazy meal? Try our 5-minute tuna melt.”
- “More broke breakfasts? Our microwave oatmeal hack is here.”