📌 “Tacos Don’t Need Fancy Ingredients—Just Low Standards”
*”You’re not making *authentic* fish tacos. You’re microwaving frozen fish sticks and calling it ~fusion cuisine~. But for $3 and 10 minutes, this tastes like victory over dining hall pizza.”*
💰 Price Breakdown (The Bare Minimum)
| Ingredient | Cost | Student Hack |
|---|---|---|
| Frozen fish sticks | $1.50 | Generic brand (“mystery fish” variety) |
| Tortillas | $0.50 | Day-old discount pack |
| Cabbage | $0.30 | One handful from the dining hall salad bar |
| Ranch | Free | Stolen from the campus café |
| Total | $2.30 | (Cheaper than Taco Bell’s regrets.) |
👩🍳 Steps (Dorm-Friendly)
- “Cook” Fish Sticks
- Microwave for 2 mins (or bake if you’re fancy).
- No plate? Use the tortilla bag as a makeshift one.
- Assemble Like a Pro
- Tortilla → Fish sticks → Cabbage → Ranch.
- Optional: Add hot sauce packets for ~spice~.
- The Lie
- Take a pic with the caption: “Homemade baja tacos 🌮”.
🔥 3 Upgrade Hacks
- “Crunchy” Version: Crush ramen noodles on top.
- “Healthy” Version: Add a single spinach leaf (for the ‘gram).
- “Drunk Food”: Swap ranch for ketchup + mayo (aka “fancy sauce”).
🗑️ Cooking Fail Confession
“I once used frostbitten fish sticks and pretended it was ‘extra crispy.’ My stomach disagreed.”
❓ FAQ (Voice Search Optimized)
Q: Can I use chicken nuggets instead?
A: Yes, but then it’s just a sad chicken wrap. Commit to the bit.
Q: How do I store leftovers?
A: In a takeout container (because you own zero Tupperware).
Q: Is this actually Mexican food?
*A: No. This is *~college Mexican~* (see also: ketchup on pasta).*
- “Need cheaper protein? Try our canned salmon pasta.“
- “More lazy meals? Our microwave tuna melt saves the day.”