“Salmon Pasta Sounds Fancy… Until You See Our Ingredients”
*”Let’s be honest: you’re not making *real* salmon pasta. You’re microwaving canned fish and calling it ‘meal prep.’ But for $3 and 10 minutes, this tastes suspiciously like adulthood. Bonus: no one will know you used dining hall pepper packets.”*
💰 Price Breakdown (The Reality Check)
| Ingredient | Cost | Student Hack |
|---|---|---|
| Canned salmon | $1.25 | Buy generic (bones = extra calcium!) |
| Pasta | $0.50 | Use broken spaghetti from the bottom of the box |
| Lemon juice | Free | Steal packets from the dining hall |
| Garlic powder | $0.05 | Borrow from your roommate (they’ll never know) |
| Total | $2.80 | (Cheaper than your campus coffee!) |
👩🍳 Step-by-Step (Dorm Edition)
1. Cook Pasta Without a Strainer
- Hack: Microwave pasta in a bowl with extra water, then drain by holding the lid halfway.
2. Fake ‘Fresh’ Salmon
- Drain can, then flake with a plastic spoon (real chefs use forks, but you lost yours).
3. Season Like You Mean It
- Squeeze 2 stolen lemon packets + shake garlic powder like it’s salt bae.
4. The ‘Presentation’ Lie
- Top with crushed chips for ~texture~ and take a pic. #Gourmet
🔥 3 Upgrade Ideas (When You’re Feeling Extra)
- “Creamy” Version → Stir in stolen dining hall mayo.
- “Spicy” Version → Add hot sauce packets from the pizza place.
- “Protein Bowl” → Toss in canned beans (because gains).
🗑️ Cooking Fail Story (For Relatability)
“Once I accidentally used cat food salmon (same can design, okay?). My roommate still brings it up at parties.”
❓ FAQ (SEO Goldmine)
Q: Can I use tuna instead?
A: Yes, but then it’s just sad tuna pasta. Embrace the salmon lie.
Q: How do I store leftovers?
A: In a takeout container (because you don’t own Tupperware). Lasts 2 days in a mini-fridge.
Q: Is canned salmon healthy?
A: Healthier than ramen! Has omega-3s (google it during your 8am lecture).
“Pair this with our microwave tuna melt for a *balanced* diet.”
- “Need more protein? Try our sardine toast hack.”