📌 “Ramen is Sad. Shrimp Ramen is Sad But Fancy.”
“Let’s face it: you’re eating ramen because you’re broke, not because you ‘like the flavor.’ But toss in $1.50 frozen shrimp and suddenly it’s ‘fusion cuisine.’ This 10-minute hack makes dining hall food look like prison meals.”
💰 Price Breakdown (The Bare Minimum)
| Ingredient | Cost | Where to Get It (No Judgement) |
|---|---|---|
| Ramen packet | $0.25 | Bulk box from Walmart (20 for $5) |
| Frozen shrimp | $1.50 | Generic “mystery size” bag |
| Soy sauce | Free | Stolen from the campus sushi station |
| Green onion | $0.10 | One stalk from the dining hall salad bar |
| Total | $1.85 | (Still cheaper than therapy) |
👩🍳 Step-by-Step (For People Who Can’t Boil Water)
1. “Cook” the Ramen
- Microwave it in a plastic bowl (because you lost your only pot).
- Pro tip: Save the seasoning packet for popcorn later.
2. Defrost Shrimp Like a Criminal
- Run frozen shrimp under hot water for 2 mins (dorm sinks work).
- Or microwave for 30 sec (they’ll be rubbery, but you’re desperate).
3. The “Presentation” Lie
- Top with sad green onion scraps and take a pic. Tag it #MasterChef.
🔥 3 Upgrade Hacks (When You’re Feeling Wild)
- “Spicy Miso” Version → Steal miso soup packets from the dining hall.
- “Breakfast Ramen” → Crack an egg into it (microwave for 1 min = “poached”).
- “Rich Person Flex” → Add one single edamame bean (from your roommate’s stash).
🗑️ Cooking Fail Confession
“I once microwaved shrimp for 3 minutes and set off the fire alarm. My RA now follows me on TikTok.”
❓ FAQ (For Google’s Snippets)
Q: Can I use canned shrimp?
A: Technically yes, but it’ll taste like cat food. Stick to frozen.
Q: How do I make it less salty?
A: Use half the seasoning packet (or drink more water like a champ).
Q: Is this healthy?
A: Healthier than eating ramen dry like a heathen.
- “Pair this with our canned salmon pasta for a ‘balanced’ diet.”
- “Too lazy? Try our microwave tuna melt instead.”
- “Comment your worst dorm cooking fail below!”